There’s a thought that’s been fluttering around in my head for a few months about why training for professional and personal development often seems to lack the potency we might wish.

Sure, people are informed, even challenged.  They go away with some new knowledge and skills, and hopefully a different attitude.  But it rarely changes their lives.  Now, maybe you think I aim too high.  But the stuff I tackle in a training course – Assertiveness, Confidence, Optimism, Empathy, Motivation, Stress and Anger Management, Communication Skills, Emotional Intelligence – all have the power to shape someone’s life success and happiness.  They are truly ‘big ideas’.  They have the potential to shift one’s paradigm forever.  So how do we let them do it?

My provisional answer: we link the training to an initiation.

What is initiation? “A rite of passage ceremony marking entrance or acceptance into a group or society. It could also be a formal admission to adulthood in a community or one of its formal components. In an extended sense it can also signify a transformation in which the initiate is ‘reborn’ into a new role.”

We tend to think of initiations as relating to secret societies, religious orders, or tribal societies.  But, in this wider sense, it includes those ceremonies that mark graduation from school or recruit training, and entrance into a new way of life.

Such rites of passage involve three elements.  (1) Separation – the initiate is detached from their normal life patterns and situation.  (2) Liminality – the initiate is introduced to the new perspectives and lifestyle of the group.  (3)  Re-incorporation – the initiate, having completed the trials and assumed their new identity, reenters society.

Unfortunately, talk of initiations these days is limited to university lectures in anthropology and university misbehaviour.  The men’s movement is an exception in taking the notion to heart.  For example,  the work of The Mankind Project states its purpose as: “We are an order of men called to reclaim the sacred masculine for our time through initiation, training, and action in the world.” This initiation comes through their New Warrior Adventure Training course.

In light of the above, it is ironic that what made me first think about the connection between training and initiation was a book called A Women in Your Own Right: Assertiveness and You by Anne Dickson.  It’s one of the original and still one of the best books on the subject of assertiveness.  But it was the title of the second last chapter that caught my imagination: (18) Assertiveness as a Way of Life.  Why yes!  Of course!  That’s it!  (I thought.)  Assertiveness isn’t just about theory and techniques.  Assertiveness training should be an introduction to a new way of living.

In my next blog, I’ll look at how we could accomplish this in a learning environment.

Image credit: Wonderlane.

My feelings are mixed.  I would describe by own view as ‘open but cautious’.  Open, because it contains a heady mixture of philosophy, psychology, and self-help applications that I personally find attractive.  But I’m still cautious, very cautious.  Here are a few quick reasons why:

1. There isn’t a single, satisfactory definition of NLP. As a trainer-philosopher, this makes me nervous.  It is possible to take some of the most advanced theories and systems ever dreamed of and reduce them to a succinct definition – whether postmodernism, Marxism or whatever.  This implies that the meaning of the term is clear and distinct.  NLP can’t do this.  It is usually defined in terms that are are either so all-encompassing as to be useless (e.g. “the science of achievement”) or so fragmented as to point in a thousand different directions.
2. There isn’t much in NLP that is unique to NLP. So you open a book on NLP and ask yourself, ‘What is this really about?’  Well, there’s a bit on ‘mirroring‘…but this is a well-known technique of body language.  Then there’s something on self-motivation… but Emotional Intelligence already covers that.  The same goes for everything NLP has to say about learning styles, metaphors, memory, rapport-building, re-framing and the rest.  Even it’s central technique – modelling – was used by the likes of Maslow (my wife’s hero!) long before NLP came on the scene.  So I ask, What exactly does NLP do that other things don’t?
3. I don’t apprecaite the use of the word ‘progamming’. The human mind is neither a (sort of organic) computer, nor is it very much like a computer…in everything that matters.  NLP seems little more than a modern verion of the old behaviourist theory with its ‘stimulus/response’ model and its reliance on ‘operant conditioning’.  I find it interesting that Tony Robbins has called his own version of NLP ‘Neuro-Associative Conditioning’.  Such methods grew out of the training of animals in experiments.  They therefore exclude all that is vital to specifically human existence – freedom, conscience, an aesthetic sense, and intuition to name a few.
4. It doesn’t impress me when the founders of NLP can’t even live it out. The two founders of NLP – Richard Bandler and John Grinder – have been involved in a number of lawsuits about the ownership of their theory.  There were also the messy matters of divorce, bankruptcy and even a murder trial.  The NLP movement has splintered since then.  So much for rapport-building!  If they can’t provide a model of excellence in communication between themselves, I fail to see how they can dare to do so for anyone else.  As Jimmy Swaggart – another one who can’t practice what he preaches – might say: Physician, heal thyself!

Having said all this, people I respect have gained much through NLP to help others.  My mind is not closed.  Maybe I need to stop reading NLP books and go to one of their workshops to experience it directly.

If I can afford it, that is…

So I throw this challenge out there.  If any NLPers are reading - invite me to one of your seminars, make me a true believer, and I’ll blog you a golden write-up for free!  Any takers?

Last Thursday, I attended a networking event, Castle Leslie - A Business Built on Branding Brilliance which was hosted by several Northern Ireland women’s networking organisations, including one that we belong to, Women on the Move.

The speaker, Sammy Leslie, a direct descendent of those who originally owned Castle Leslie in County Monaghan, was speaking about how she took on the branding of her family’s business – from leaking buckets in the attic, to the successful, niche, think-twice, decadent weekend-break, wedding venue, private members’ club and tourist destination it is today.  Phew!

Three key points I took from her presentation were:

1. Sheer Grit – the motto of Castle Leslie is grip fast.  How refreshingly simple!  It takes sheer grit to start any business and keep going, through the thick and thin times.
2. Passion – no-one will win beforehand (our motto) without passion.  You must live and breathe your business.  We spoke recently to an beauty consultant, who was adamant that the right image can transform someone’s confidence, following an illness for example.   She totally believed in her ability to make that happen.
3. Knowing your strengths and sticking to them.  Recently we were asked ‘Why combine training, coaching, writing and consultancy?  Well, at a basic level, because that’s where our experience and qualifications lie.  But much more than that.  We love to meet with clients to identify their business problems and design a product to suit them.  We love to sink our teeth into a training session, or get to grips with what a customer wants to be conveyed about his product through written material.  That strength of conviction is what we sell.

What about you?  Do you have sheet grit?  Does your passion drive you?  Are you incommand of your strengths?

Our coaching programmes deal with those very issues.  Do you know your strengths?  What drives you?  What is your goal in business, in life?  Have you a plan?  If you’d like to find out and develop a strategy for getting there, contact us for a free consultation.

Are you a freelancer or consultant?  Do you have expertise in management or IT training, coaching, technical writing, copy-editing or proofreading?

We also welcome those who have experience in areas other than those listed.

Email your CV or business resume to: info@sensei-winbeforehand.co.uk to register your interest.

[Update 28/09/07: we have had a massive response from this. However, we would still like to hear from you. Keep sending in those cvs!]

We are launching a Young Adults Coaching Programme, for young people aged 16-18.

Coaching in general can cover such broad areas as confidence, communication and control. Our coaching programmes help young people achieve success in four different areas:

1. Managing Independence – This programme is particularly suited to students who are reaching the end of compulsory education, and are preparing for university and leaving home. Its purpose is to prepare them to become self-reliant, responsible adults, capable of managing their own lives and succeeding in their chosen careers.
   
2. Managing Study – It is a strange fact that young people are expected to learn vast amounts of information but are given little guidance as to how to do it. This programme provides students with the tools and techniques to succeed in their exams and projects by managing their workload, their time, and their brain.
   
3. Managing Yourself – Look at the issues young people raise in the web sites that provide support for them. They are hungry for information on self-esteem, relaxation, stress, anger, assertiveness and other similar topics. Since formal education does not address for this need, this programme will.
   
4. Managing Relationships – Adolescence is an awkward time in life. Many young people feel excluded because they are not naturally adept in many social situations. Webelieve passionately that the ability to manage relationships is a skill that can be learned on this programme, rather than a gift given to a lucky few.

The programme will be advertised in the next Ulster Tatler.  If you would like an information pack, please email us at: info@sensei-winbeforehand.co.uk or phone 028 9043 6634.

Check the website for details on other coaching programmes, Life Coaching and Business Coaching.