Recently I saw a documentary about a guy called Dean Potter.  Dean is a mountaineer who specialises in an art called slack rope walking or ‘slacklining’ for short.  Simply put, this is a sort of tightrope walk between peaks on a mountain, often with no safety line or parachute.  See him in action here.

For mere mortals like us, this level of courage seems to border on the superhuman.  But before we get too down on ourselves, please remember one point – there are different ways to be brave.  In fact, according to the positive psychology “classification of character strengths”, there are four.

“Courage – Emotional strengths that involve the exercise of will to accomplish goals in the face of opposition, external or internal

1. Bravery [valour]: Not shrinking from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain; speaking up for what is right even if there is opposition; acting on convictions even if unpopular; includes physical bravery but is not limited to it
2. Perseverance [persistence, industriousness]: Finishing what one starts; persisting in a course of action in spite of obstacles; “getting it out the door”; taking pleasure in completing tasks
3. Honesty [authenticity, integrity]: Speaking the truth but more broadly presenting oneself in a genuine way and acting in a sincere way; being without pretense; taking responsibility for one’s feelings and actions
4. Zest [vitality, enthusiasm, vigour, energy]: Approaching life with excitement and energy; not doing things halfway or halfheartedly; living life as an adventure; feeling alive and activated”

Another source suggests that these four types might be best personified by the examples of  my wife’s hero, Ernest Shackleton; John D. Rockefeller;  Sojourner Truth and the Dalai Lama respectively.  And not a ‘slackliner’ among them!

So if you think you aren’t brave, and could never be brave, maybe you need to expand your view of what bravery really means.

Sometimes brave is saying what you want.  Or finishing those night classes.  Or getting up out of bed to face the world with a smile on your face.

Slacklining is optional.  :)

On Saturday 20 March I delivered a 1-day workshop at Queen’s University called To Boldly Go: How To Be Fearless.  Since you ask, it went well, thanks very much.  In it, I explored 39 techniques to help participants overcome everyday fear and build their confidence.  Many of them I have used myself; some I’m still practising.

As I told the class, some techniques might seem to overlap with or contradict each other…but who cares as long as long as they work?  My advice?  Pick a few that work for you! But give some of the others a try too even if you are initially sceptical.  You might be surprised…

1. Use fear as a learning experience about yourself
2. Realise that courage is a habit not a gift
3. View courage as a ‘mean’ position between cowardice and recklessness
4. Realise that there are different types of courage – valour, resilience, authenticity and vitality
5. Allow that emotions are a choice between stimulus and response
6. Distinguish the emotion of fear from the external thing causing it
7. See fear as positive when it warns and focuses your mind
8. Reflect that the opposite of fear is love and that love is stronger
9. Gain some perspective about how little your fear matters in the universe
10. What is the very worst-case scenario?
11. Face all the consequences – good and bad – of doing what you fear
12. Label your fear to yourself as soon as it starts
13. Realise that different degrees of fear require different words
14. Argue yourself out of irrational fears and catastrophic thinking
15. Adopt positive self-talk or affirmations
16. Visualise yourself doing the thing that scares you
17. Visualise an inspirational mentor or hero figure
18. Imaging you are someone brave or have a ‘brave persona’
19. Talk to your body to calm down your fear reactions
20. Use movement to calm your body and control you mind
21. Relax your body by deep ‘diaphragmatic’ breathing
22. Relax you mind by meditation
23. Win beforehand (i.e. practice)
24. Experience the fear under controlled conditions
25. Act ‘as if’ you are unafraid/brave and let the feelings follow
26. Make courage a daily behaviour by assertiveness
27. Rigorously control your body language
28. Don’t think about it.  Just do it.
29. Determine that you will do it anyway
30. Use a mantra or ‘litany’ against fear
31. Laugh at what you fear
32. Associate performing the feared act with a ritual (‘anchoring’)
33. Refer to yourself in the third person before action
34. Treat the activity as if it were merely a game
35. Use music to sooth your fears (or stimulate your bravery)
36. Get yourself out of there so that the fear triggers are removed
37. Gain courage in one area and transfer it on to another
38. Relish the feeling of being alive that fear grants
39. Get involved in a support network with people who have a similar fear

I hope you’ll find some of these “39 steps” useful and/or intersting.  Each has a history and life if its own, but for now, introductions are enough.

Image credit: curran.kelleher.

In the summer of 2008 I wrote a blog called How To Be Brave.  It proved to be one of our most popular blogs hit-wise.  So I followed it up with  How To Be Brave: The Return.  Now I’m aiming at an all-out workshop on the topic!

So on Saturday 20 Feb 10 2010 I’ll be delivering a 1-day workshop at Queen’s University called To Boldly Go: How to Be Fearless.  Here’s the blurb.

Always do what you are afraid to do, said Emerson. Very well. But how? This workshop will provide you with a toolbox of techniques to overcome your personal fears in everyday life. Choose which work for you. All are immediately applicable. Whether you lack self-assurance when it comes to social occasions, public speaking, or interviews, fear not, confidence is at hand.

Having successfully completed this course, you will be able to:
1. Understand the biology of fear responses and triggers within the human body and your own personality
2. Use a selection of psychological and practical techniques to reduce or overcome these fear habits
3. Develop your own sense of self-confidence and self-esteem

This workshop will be run as part of the Queen’s University Open Learning Programme.  Please click here to find out how to enrol.  The course cost is only £25 (no concessions).  There is a class size limit of 18 to facilitate greater interaction.

It takes guts to sign up on a course and talk into that classroom, knowing that you’ll have to meet new people and do new things.  Take your first step to fearlessness by enroling.

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. ~Raymond Lindquist

The following are successful posts from the archives:

The Five Habits of Highly Passive People

5 Assertiveness Techniques

The Ten Worst Business Phrases of All Time

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Schools

Convert You-Tube Videos for Embedding in PowerPoint

How to Be Brave

Enjoy!

While teaching a course in non-verbal communication recently, a thought struck me.  How do you act in a brave or fearless manner? Which specific pieces of body language can help us out here?

Smile. This is the most powerful piece of body language available to us!  As that well known psychologist Greta Garbo said, “Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening”.  Smiling gives you great power over yourself and others.

Raise your chin. If ever you are feeling down, raise your head and hold it in an upright position for a few moments.  Notice how your mood will shift almost immediately.

Maintain eye contact. When you hold someone’s gaze it means that you are in control, assertive, even challenging.  Narrow your eyes to be seen as strong and dominant.  Move your gaze smoothly and deliberately.  Of all bodily signals, the eyes reveal emotions the most accurately.

Be still. Small, inconsequential gestures show discomfort, inner turmoil or frustration.  Eliminate these ‘micro-gestures’ by taking action to solve the problems, or learning to be still by shifting your energies to thought.  Stillness and quiet signal to others that you are in control, and that it is up to them to make the move.

Stand straight. Posture reflects self-image, confidence, role and emotional state.  As Ray Birdwhistell noted, “A person’s posture reflects their past.  People who has experiences long depression may slouch and slag their bodies,  whereas people who have a positive outlook tend to hold themselves upright”.

Walk tall. However you walk you are being true to your internal rhythms and feelings.  By choosing to walk in a certain way you are presenting an image you want other to believe.  Quicken your tempt to increase your energy.  Or slow down to show deliberation.  Whatever you do, choose it.

Expand out. Take up space and look as though you are conformable in it.  Don’t shrivel up or cringe when others look at you.  Hold your arms away form your body and your elbows slightly out from your sides.  Plant your feet slightly apart.  Be significant!

Pump it up. The volume that is.  If you talk quietly you will ignored, you will sound unsure, others will talk over you.  Don’t be scared to hear yourself speak.  I don’t mean scream or fog-horn.  But try raising your voice a little and you will get the attention and time of others.

Try them out.  They actually work.  I dare you!