Sensei » confidence

The 4 Types of Courage

Allen Baird, Partner — Mon, 03 May 2010 07:00:34 +0000

Recently I saw a documentary about a guy called Dean Potter. Dean is a mountaineer who specialises in an art called slack rope walking or ‘slacklining’ for short. Simply put, this is a sort of tightrope walk between peaks on a mountain, often with no safety line or parachute. See him in action here.

For mere mortals like us, this level of courage seems to border on the superhuman. But before we get too down on ourselves, please remember one point – there are different ways to be brave. In fact, according to the positive psychology “classification of character strengths”, there are four.

“Courage – Emotional strengths that involve the exercise of will to accomplish goals in the face of opposition, external or internal

Bravery [valour]: Not shrinking from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain; speaking up for what is right even if there is opposition; acting on convictions even if unpopular; includes physical bravery but is not limited to it
Perseverance [persistence, industriousness]: Finishing what one starts; persisting in a course of action in spite of obstacles; “getting it out the door”; taking pleasure in completing tasks
Honesty [authenticity, integrity]: Speaking the truth but more broadly presenting oneself in a genuine way and acting in a sincere way; being without pretense; taking responsibility for one’s feelings and actions
Zest [vitality, enthusiasm, vigour, energy]: Approaching life with excitement and energy; not doing things halfway or halfheartedly; living life as an adventure; feeling alive and activated”

Another source suggests that these four types might be best personified by the examples of my wife’s hero, Ernest Shackleton; John D. Rockefeller; Sojourner Truth and the Dalai Lama respectively. And not a ‘slackliner’ among them!

So if you think you aren’t brave, and could never be brave, maybe you need to expand your view of what bravery really means.

Sometimes brave is saying what you want. Or finishing those night classes. Or getting up out of bed to face the world with a smile on your face.

Slacklining is optional. :)

39 Ways To Conquer Fear

Allen Baird, Partner — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 07:00:05 +0000

On Saturday 20 March I delivered a 1-day workshop at Queen’s University called To Boldly Go: How To Be Fearless. Since you ask, it went well, thanks very much. In it, I explored 39 techniques to help participants overcome everyday fear and build their confidence. Many of them I have used myself; some I’m still practising.

As I told the class, some techniques might seem to overlap with or contradict each other…but who cares as long as long as they work? My advice? Pick a few that work for you! But give some of the others a try too even if you are initially sceptical. You might be surprised…

Use fear as a learning experience about yourself
Realise that courage is a habit not a gift
View courage as a ‘mean’ position between cowardice and recklessness
Realise that there are different types of courage – valour, resilience, authenticity and vitality
Allow that emotions are a choice between stimulus and response
Distinguish the emotion of fear from the external thing causing it
See fear as positive when it warns and focuses your mind
Reflect that the opposite of fear is love and that love is stronger
Gain some perspective about how little your fear matters in the universe
What is the very worst-case scenario?
Face all the consequences – good and bad – of doing what you fear
Label your fear to yourself as soon as it starts
Realise that different degrees of fear require different words
Argue yourself out of irrational fears and catastrophic thinking
Adopt positive self-talk or affirmations
Visualise yourself doing the thing that scares you
Visualise an inspirational mentor or hero figure
Imaging you are someone brave or have a ‘brave persona’
Talk to your body to calm down your fear reactions
Use movement to calm your body and control you mind
Relax your body by deep ‘diaphragmatic’ breathing
Relax you mind by meditation
Win beforehand (i.e. practice)
Experience the fear under controlled conditions
Act ‘as if’ you are unafraid/brave and let the feelings follow
Make courage a daily behaviour by assertiveness
Rigorously control your body language
Don’t think about it. Just do it.
Determine that you will do it anyway
Use a mantra or ‘litany’ against fear
Laugh at what you fear
Associate performing the feared act with a ritual (‘anchoring’)
Refer to yourself in the third person before action
Treat the activity as if it were merely a game
Use music to sooth your fears (or stimulate your bravery)
Get yourself out of there so that the fear triggers are removed
Gain courage in one area and transfer it on to another
Relish the feeling of being alive that fear grants
Get involved in a support network with people who have a similar fear

I hope you’ll find some of these “39 steps” useful and/or intersting. Each has a history and life if its own, but for now, introductions are enough.

Image credit: curran.kelleher.

How To Be Fearless

Allen Baird, Partner — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 07:00:42 +0000

In the summer of 2008 I wrote a blog called How To Be Brave. It proved to be one of our most popular blogs hit-wise. So I followed it up with How To Be Brave: The Return. Now I’m aiming at an all-out workshop on the topic!

So on Saturday 20 Feb 10 2010 I’ll be delivering a 1-day workshop at Queen’s University called To Boldly Go: How to Be Fearless. Here’s the blurb.

Always do what you are afraid to do, said Emerson. Very well. But how? This workshop will provide you with a toolbox of techniques to overcome your personal fears in everyday life. Choose which work for you. All are immediately applicable. Whether you lack self-assurance when it comes to social occasions, public speaking, or interviews, fear not, confidence is at hand.

Having successfully completed this course, you will be able to:
1. Understand the biology of fear responses and triggers within the human body and your own personality
2. Use a selection of psychological and practical techniques to reduce or overcome these fear habits
3. Develop your own sense of self-confidence and self-esteem

This workshop will be run as part of the Queen’s University Open Learning Programme. Please click here to find out how to enrol. The course cost is only £25 (no concessions). There is a class size limit of 18 to facilitate greater interaction.

It takes guts to sign up on a course and talk into that classroom, knowing that you’ll have to meet new people and do new things. Take your first step to fearlessness by enroling.

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. ~Raymond Lindquist

Assertiveness & Workplace Confidence

Dawn Baird, Partner — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 07:00:35 +0000

This two day workshop will take place on Wednesday – Thursday, 17-18 February 10, 09:30-16:30. Speaker: Dawn Baird.

The realities of modern work life – flat structures, tough workloads and the need to exert influence across traditional boundaries – ensure that assertiveness skills are not an optional extra. Aggression is unacceptable; passivity is ineffective.

Previous attendees of this workshop have said:

Met and surpassed. Enjoyed especially session on emotional intelligence – had heard about it but didn’t know alot about it. Really enjoyable course. Professional trainers and also enthusiastic participants helped to make it enjoyable and relevant to me.

Emma Rollins, Assistant Tourism Development Officer, Ards Council

I found the course very interesting and practical, the blend of theory and practical solutions on how to behave assertively exceed my expectations before the course. I really enjoyed the course. I thought Dawn and Allen were great trainers who put the group at ease and explained their subject matter very well.

Elaine Vaughan, HR Officer, Police Ombudsman

In this workshop you will learn a powerful set of techniques and how to use them in specific workplace scenarios, such as when negotiating or influencing. Also covered are the relationships between assertiveness and more general work-related issues, like the conflict created when giving criticism and receiving feedback.

Allen Baird will no longer be c0-speaking at this event, as originally announced.

To book a place, contact Marc Forte at the School of Education (Short Courses Programmes) on 028 9097 5260 or email cpd@qub.ac.uk.