I will either find a way or make one.

In his mind, the answer to an obstacle in the path and the lack of means to overcome it was not to retreat, surrender, or wail.  How can we imbibe some of his grit?

1. Quit moaning and do something productive toward your goal instead.
2. Stop agonising over the negative comments of idiots.
3. Spend less time with those whose vocabularly is frequented by can’t.
4. Avoid following others.  Become an inventor.  And, get the news out there.
5. Don’t give up at the first failure.
6. Take advice from experienced people, but don’t be afraid to ignore it.
7. Trust your gut.

I’m a fan of jumping in at the deep end.

Image credit: antmoose.

Series 7 is under way.  The first episode on the current series was shown on 10 May.  Catch up on the first two episodes of The Apprentice.  Then, come back and join the debate here.

Allegedly, the Alan Sugar’s apprentices have been selected from the country’s top minds and sharpest entrepreneurial figures.  And, what do we get?  Read on.

Spoiler Alert: the first two episodes, including who got fired, are discussed below.  And, you can read more on BBC – The Apprentice.

Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit, when there are footsteps on the moon.

Surely, we think, they’re joking. I think the less drivel-spouting contestants may be able to survive the barrage of drivel by adopting some of Sarcastics Anonymous.  It’s a simple strategy (oh no, there’s another buzz-word!).

Either that, or I volunteer to run a five-minute workshop, to help contestants understand the concept of a metaphor.

Edward, who was fired in episode 1, seemed a likeable-enough guy, yet his mouth seemed to run away with him.  I counted three instances of the following phrase, within as many minutes.

You’ve just got to roll with the punches.

And, in defence of his action throughout that week’s task…

Not only am I the youngest in the team, I’m the shortest…

The others up for firing in the episode remained strangely controlled, revealing only the briefest of smirks.

His failure?  It came down to an inability to express himself clearly or succinctly.  Lord Sugar is known for curtailing pontificators, mercilessly.

Alex was fired in episode 2.  I blame the Welsh  sideburns – that’s all I have to say on the matter.

Most bizarre moment

Edna’s gloves distracted from what she was trying to say throughout her pitch.

Star of the show so far: Jim Eastwood

At Sensei Towers, our money is on the man from Cookstown, Jim Eastwood.  He’s referred to variously on the hilarious Apprentice Twitter streams as SoupMan, or as Allen prefers, JediJim.  Follow the brutal – but entertaining – live tweeting on The Apprentice.

Noobs may find the following useful:

PM Project manager.

“Group hug!”          Let’s indulge in some corporate bonding for the cameras.

OK, guys, let’s strategise We need to figure out what the heck we’re doing before the car reaches the market stall. Oh, we’re here.

Roll with the punches. Keep your chin up, even when you know you’ve in way over your head.

Are you following?  If so, have you formed any opinions yet on who might win?  Or, who might be fired next?  Answers on a comment below.

Image credit: jamescronin.

It’s the stuff of cheesy, pop-psychology legend.  ‘Fake it until you make it’!  Yeah, right!  Excuse me if I refuse the snake oil and select a sick bag instead.  Only one problem.  It seems to be true.

First there was Aristotle:

“Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way. We become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions.”

Then the experiences of Teddy Roosevelt and the observations of William James. And finally, Robert Greene’s power law 34 :

“Be royal in your fashion: act like a king to be treated like one.”

I’ve recently read an excellent book by Richard Wiseman called 59 Seconds: Think a little, Change a lot.  In it he gives many examples of such ‘proprioceptive psychology’.  Not only certain thoughts and emotions cause regular behaviours, but the causation works the other way around too!  He quotes dozens of academic studies that demonstrate, among other things, that:

• the act of smiling makes you feel happier
• arm crossing increases persistence and performance
• lying down increases creativity
• increased heart rate and eye contact lead to love

In each of these cases, we’re progammed to think that the internal feelings come first, and that the body language is an expression of what already exists.  Not necessarily.  You – or someone else – can make these feelings occur by practising the behaviour.

I’ve found another confirmation of this in an article Power Posing: Brief Nonverbal Displays Affect NeuroendocrineLevels and Risk Tolerance. The gist of it is that those who adopt typical power poses – demonstrating expansiveness and openness – experience heightened levels of testosterone and lowered levels of cortisol.  The first increases competitiveness and openness to challenge, while the second deals with stress.

Let me put it plainly.  Adopting certain non-verbal communication patterns doesn’t just change how you feel.  Deeper than that, it alters the chemistry of your body and brain.

IMHO that’s the real power of body language – what it does to you!  How you then go on to influence other people is a secondary product of this.

Fake it until you make it.  Easy on the cheese… heavy on the chemicals!

Image credit: gnuckx.

1. Build exercise into your day.  Running around after small children, walking to the shops or bus-stop, or keeping the house spic and span does not count.  Your heart needs to be racing and you’ll need a shower afterwards.  If you’re really serious about your health, ask Matthew for a consultation.  The tiredness, lethargy and exhaustion you feel can only improve following exercise.  And, exercise is proven to help you sleep better.
2. Do something that takes you outside of yourself and into helping others.  Depressed people’s negative thoughts lead to negative emotions, leading to negative behaviour.  Aside from the obvious benefit of helping someone in need, if you’re focusing on someone else, you can take your mind off things for a while, which gives your thoughts a rest.  This helps to put your own issues into perspective.  Ask anyone who’s done a mission trip to a third world country.  They say it focuses their complaining attitude like nothing else every did.  Here are a few options:
   • Home Start Lakeland, Enniskillen
   • Aware Defeat Depression, Belfast and Londonderry
   • VSB, Belfast, Londonderry, Bangor
   • Volunteer to help a friend or neighbour who’s just had a big change in their life: new baby, redundancy, bereavement, debilitating illness, paralysis.
3. Take up a new interest, or learn a new skill.  If this is something that involves contact with others outside the home, so much the better.
   Contact your local college, university or community centre.  There are always short courses and workshops happening.  Some are even free.
4. Plan ahead.  Book things into your calendar, or diary, that help you to look forward to the future.  Check WhatsOnNI for stuff to do. Anyone can submit any event to the site, for free.  There are often low-cost events, and some free ones too.  There’s sure to be something to appeal to you.
5. Talk to someone you trust.  If you are suffering a low mood for a prolonged period of time, talk to your doctor or a counselling service such as Aware.  Make sure someone from your family or among your friends knows.  Don’t keep it a secret.  Depression doesn’t get better all by itself. And, it is not your fault, nor something you should feel shame about.  It is an illness, like any other, and you need help.
6. Avoid isolating yourself at home, or in your work.  Get out and see your friends, preferably doing something active, like a forest walk, dancing, or a bike ride.  Keep your friends close, so they can help keep an eye on your mood, and notice when things are not right.
7. Get your life into a routine.  Humans need structure, order and discipline.  And, those who suffer depression often have no real structure to their day, especially if they have had to take time off work to recover.  Plan to meet someone for coffee early in the morning.  Decide to exercise early in the day.  Have a weekly schedule for doing the housework, socialising, work or relaxing.  Book appointments with yourself, and don’t break them – it’s rude!

We hope these simple strategies will help get your life back in order.  Depression is a devastating illness.  Give yourself a break.  You’re doing well, even by reading this post, as it demonstrates a will to get better.

Take care on your journey to recovery.  And, if your health is in great condition, don’t forget the 7 steps to keeping it that way.

Image credit: sacks 08.

Guest Blog Post by Matthew Arrell

The confrontation has got to a point beyond fleeing.  There is not a moment to think or even a second to spare; this is the millisecond in which the outcome of the altercation will turn.  Everything depends on how you next react.

We’ll assume that you are in a situation where only the fight option is available.  I won’t go through all the various levels of force you can use as the scenarios are endless.  However, I will say that if you believe your life or that of your family or friends to be under threat, attack with 100% force and 100% aggression.  Do not use any less than all the force you can summon to your fists, feet, elbows, knees or makeshift weapon.

In this scenario, the attacker and you will both be unarmed.  If you wish to learn techniques to use against weapons then you need to  attend a weekly class to rehearse these skills.

Attack in front with distance

1. Eye strikes – both hands alternately with fingers and thumbs

2. Palm strike – with a slap or straight palm strike (like a jab), to the face, ears, throat or groin

3. Punches – if you are able to punch correctly, to the face or throat

4. Kicks – straight downward to the groin or shins (forget about those movie high kicks unless trained)

Attack in front – distance close

1. Eye gouges – both hands, grab the head or ears and work your thumbs into the eyes

2. Knees – to the groin, abdomen or face if they lean forward after groin strike

3. Head butt – lean back and quickly drive your forehead into their nose

4. Elbows – to the middle of the head

Attacker behind

1. Hammer fist – to the groin

2. Elbows – to the face, abdomen or groin

3. Eye gouges – reach round and go for the eyes with fingers and thumbs

4. Reverse head butt – lean forward and quickly throw your head back into his face

On the floor with attacker on top

1. Eye strikes/gouges – strike for the eyes or hold onto their ears and get the thumbs into the eyes

2. Upward kicks – if you’re thrown to the floor, start to kick up to the groin/abdomen/head as they try to get down to your level (kick straight with the sole of your foot)

3. Shin/knee kicks – if they stay standing, go for their shins or the front of their knee, again kick straight with the sole of your foot

These are the most common scenarios you could face on the street.  I’ve kept it as brief as possible because the last thing you need at this time is an army of options marching around in your head.  As for blocking punches and kicks from an attacker, this is something that you would have to be well practised at for effectiveness.

Another way to avoid kicks and punches is to simply move out of the line of fire.  Watch a boxer or kick boxer.  They will always circle towards their opponent’s weakest side.  They have watched previous matches in order to determine which side this is.  In real life we don’t have this luxury, so try and stay out of the way of whatever they are throwing at you.

Some boxers simply become overwhelmed with their opponents aggression.  Notice I didn’t say ‘skill’; I said ‘aggression’.  It doesn’t always win the fight but it certainly puts them on the back foot, confusing them and disrupting their game plan.  This is the exact same with an attacker who expects you to be submissive or at least an easy target.  Their game plan is to prey on the weak.  So what you should do is this:

1. Distract – Ask them a question like “why are you picking on me,” or make a statement, “I’m not a fighter, I don’t want any trouble”.  (This uses the criminals own dirty trick of asking people for the time or directions to somewhere in order to distract a victim for long enough to initiate their attack.)

2. Attack – Go for it while they are thinking for an answer and keep attacking until they are incapacitated for long enough for you to escape.  This may take one strike or a number of strikes.  Be aggressive and violent, as you will increase your chances of doing damage, and if not, it will at least make them think twice about continuing their attack on you.

3. Pull back – Once you have that opportunity to get out of harm’s way, use it and run to a safe area.

Geoff Thompson is the expert from whom I’ve taken many of my tips on personal security; some of his ideas are incorporated into this blog.  He would recommend that punching is a must and I would agree, but only if you are comfortable with it – it is an awesome tool to have.  For more information on the wider subject of how to protect yourself against aggression, please read my previous blog post, as well as Allen’s realistic thoughts on self-defence for women.  Finally, draw your attention to the fact that a good level of physical fitness goes a long way to keeping you safe on those mean streets.  It’s difficult to flee or fight when you’re fat!

Image credit: polinasergeeva.

Matthew Arrell is a Strength and Conditioning Coach.  You can join his Facebook Page to find contact details.  Matthew’s previous Guest Blogs:

The Benefits of Exercise

12 Tips for a Lighter Christmas