I will either find a way or make one.

In his mind, the answer to an obstacle in the path and the lack of means to overcome it was not to retreat, surrender, or wail.  How can we imbibe some of his grit?

1. Quit moaning and do something productive toward your goal instead.
2. Stop agonising over the negative comments of idiots.
3. Spend less time with those whose vocabularly is frequented by can’t.
4. Avoid following others.  Become an inventor.  And, get the news out there.
5. Don’t give up at the first failure.
6. Take advice from experienced people, but don’t be afraid to ignore it.
7. Trust your gut.

I’m a fan of jumping in at the deep end.

Image credit: antmoose.

Series 7 is under way.  The first episode on the current series was shown on 10 May.  Catch up on the first two episodes of The Apprentice.  Then, come back and join the debate here.

Allegedly, the Alan Sugar’s apprentices have been selected from the country’s top minds and sharpest entrepreneurial figures.  And, what do we get?  Read on.

Spoiler Alert: the first two episodes, including who got fired, are discussed below.  And, you can read more on BBC – The Apprentice.

Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit, when there are footsteps on the moon.

Surely, we think, they’re joking. I think the less drivel-spouting contestants may be able to survive the barrage of drivel by adopting some of Sarcastics Anonymous.  It’s a simple strategy (oh no, there’s another buzz-word!).

Either that, or I volunteer to run a five-minute workshop, to help contestants understand the concept of a metaphor.

Edward, who was fired in episode 1, seemed a likeable-enough guy, yet his mouth seemed to run away with him.  I counted three instances of the following phrase, within as many minutes.

You’ve just got to roll with the punches.

And, in defence of his action throughout that week’s task…

Not only am I the youngest in the team, I’m the shortest…

The others up for firing in the episode remained strangely controlled, revealing only the briefest of smirks.

His failure?  It came down to an inability to express himself clearly or succinctly.  Lord Sugar is known for curtailing pontificators, mercilessly.

Alex was fired in episode 2.  I blame the Welsh  sideburns – that’s all I have to say on the matter.

Most bizarre moment

Edna’s gloves distracted from what she was trying to say throughout her pitch.

Star of the show so far: Jim Eastwood

At Sensei Towers, our money is on the man from Cookstown, Jim Eastwood.  He’s referred to variously on the hilarious Apprentice Twitter streams as SoupMan, or as Allen prefers, JediJim.  Follow the brutal – but entertaining – live tweeting on The Apprentice.

Noobs may find the following useful:

PM Project manager.

“Group hug!”          Let’s indulge in some corporate bonding for the cameras.

OK, guys, let’s strategise We need to figure out what the heck we’re doing before the car reaches the market stall. Oh, we’re here.

Roll with the punches. Keep your chin up, even when you know you’ve in way over your head.

Are you following?  If so, have you formed any opinions yet on who might win?  Or, who might be fired next?  Answers on a comment below.

Image credit: jamescronin.

It’s the stuff of cheesy, pop-psychology legend.  ‘Fake it until you make it’!  Yeah, right!  Excuse me if I refuse the snake oil and select a sick bag instead.  Only one problem.  It seems to be true.

First there was Aristotle:

“Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way. We become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions.”

Then the experiences of Teddy Roosevelt and the observations of William James. And finally, Robert Greene’s power law 34 :

“Be royal in your fashion: act like a king to be treated like one.”

I’ve recently read an excellent book by Richard Wiseman called 59 Seconds: Think a little, Change a lot.  In it he gives many examples of such ‘proprioceptive psychology’.  Not only certain thoughts and emotions cause regular behaviours, but the causation works the other way around too!  He quotes dozens of academic studies that demonstrate, among other things, that:

• the act of smiling makes you feel happier
• arm crossing increases persistence and performance
• lying down increases creativity
• increased heart rate and eye contact lead to love

In each of these cases, we’re progammed to think that the internal feelings come first, and that the body language is an expression of what already exists.  Not necessarily.  You – or someone else – can make these feelings occur by practising the behaviour.

I’ve found another confirmation of this in an article Power Posing: Brief Nonverbal Displays Affect NeuroendocrineLevels and Risk Tolerance. The gist of it is that those who adopt typical power poses – demonstrating expansiveness and openness – experience heightened levels of testosterone and lowered levels of cortisol.  The first increases competitiveness and openness to challenge, while the second deals with stress.

Let me put it plainly.  Adopting certain non-verbal communication patterns doesn’t just change how you feel.  Deeper than that, it alters the chemistry of your body and brain.

IMHO that’s the real power of body language – what it does to you!  How you then go on to influence other people is a secondary product of this.

Fake it until you make it.  Easy on the cheese… heavy on the chemicals!

Image credit: gnuckx.

I debated whether to call this blog post, Stand, Breathe and Deliver, or perhaps The Oxygenated Highwayman.  You figure it out!

What a Meeting is Not

A meeting is not:

• A talking shop, for discussing and debating.
• An opportunity to catch up with the social gossip within your organisation.
• A chance to bitch about the staff/management en masse.

If your meetings include any of these activities, eliminate them and reclaim your time.

At All Costs, Avoid Having a Meeting At All

Few people enjoy meetings.  Become the darling of your management team by suggesting sane alternatives:

1. Pick up the phone and ask a question.
2. Send an email with Voting Buttons or a Survey to elicit opinions or a series of swift decisions.
3. If you need only keep people informed or share documents:
   1. learn how to use Google Docs
   2. if you have more money to spend, ask IT to set up a simple intranet site
   3. if you fancy yourself a competent writer, start an internal blog.

If a meeting is still considered necessary, hold a Stand-Up Meeting – see below.

There are only three rules. Stand, Breathe and Deliver.

Hold a Stand-Up Meeting

Stand-up meetings are characterised by the following:

• Invite the team involved on a project, not every manager in the building.
• Attendees stand, rather than sit.
• Meetings are generally brief (5-15 minutes), due to the eventual discomfort of standing so long in one place.
• There are no life-draining, convoluted series of welcomes, points arising, matters pertaining thereunto, thank-yous, discussions, deliberations or any other such nonsense.

I reserve my right to indulge in a little sarcasm, having once worked for an organisation where full-day meetings (with tea-breaks and specially ordered-in lunch) were too regular to dismiss as anomalies; they were planned this way.

• All members are encouraged to speak (briefly), sometimes using a visual prompt (such as a conch, as in Lord of the Flies).
• Updates state progress, impediments to progress and prompt immediate solutions.  I have seen this format work extremely well in  software development companies, where it has been adopted enthusiastically, probably because it fits snugly with the Agile project management style.

Have a Meeting in a Forest (or Other Non-Man-Made Location)

Get your staff or managers out of the office for an hour, and into nature.  I highly recommend beside a gushing waterfall.  You can almost get drunk on the high oxygen in such places.  Oxygen, exercise, and space are all essential for energy, creativity, problem-solving, motivation, brainstorming, and those of us who are right-brain dominant (for which our schools, colleges, workplaces and world have no place to play).

If this is impossible (due to narrow-mindedness, what else?), a local cafe might provide at least a walk in the fresh air, which always invigorates thinking.

Insist on Delivery

Assign tasks to named individuals.  Ensure everyone is sent a summary of the main points by email.  I recommend a massively pared-down version of minutes, if at all.

Insist on Delivery Before the Four Horsemen of Armageddon Arrive

Interpret this how you will.  Insist on delivery of the tasks assigned to individuals before either the universe implodes, the staff retention rate reaches unacceptable levels, the FSA sends their men in black coats, profits sink, or Friday is upon you.  In other words, date tasks.

Further, ask for a (not necessarily written) report on how the task went at the beginning of the next meeting. Slackers and procrastinators will soon get used to being held accountable to their peers. When you encounter persistent, malignant non-compliance, train or fire.  It’s a simple deterrant.

That’s about all I have to say.  Trust me.  I’ve been there.  Think of what my new BFF Richard Koch would say.

Koch would say 80% of meetings are a waste of time.  And, 80% of time your spent at meetings is wasted.  He’d tell you to prioritise and choose the 20% of meetings that are a effective use of your time, and attend those.  And, be aware that while you’re there, you’ll only find 20% of THAT time is actually effectively spent.

In other words, go back to where I said, At All Costs, Avoid Having a Meeting at All.

Here are my top resources for those of you making a living out of technical writing.  Some are also of use to anyone who writes in any style for a living.  First though…

What Is a Technical Writer?

I’ve always written my own training content, workbooks, manuals, user guides, procedures and policies.  I was a Technical Writer long before I realised it.  And, my personality type is tailor-made for the role.  Simply put, a Technical Writer is someone who writes technical documentation.  Non-writers often make the mistake of reading IT into the technical bit of the job title.  However, while many technical writers deal with information technology, many don’t.  There are many fields that come under the heading of “technical”: Medicine; Engineering and Construction; Food; Health; Research; or Education for example.

Sometimes, Technical Writers are also referred to as Technical Authors or Technical Communicators.

What Do Technical Writers Do?

Technical Writing often involves a great deal of jargon or specialised language.  It is the task joy of the Technical Communicator to become familiar, often very quickly with new concepts, technology, jargon and environments, in order to produce a guide, manual or handbook that will illuminate the topic for newbies, or provide a useful resource for the more experienced.

What Online Resources Are Available?

There are some online resources that I simply cannot do without.  Some are human in form.

I’d Rather Be Writing

Tom Johnston is a Technical Writer from Utah.  He writes a blog entitled, I’d Rather be Writing, about “The Latest Trends in Technical Communication” and is never too busy to answer a query, or recommend some useful online resources via Twitter.  Each blog post is mighty useful.  Add it to your RSS reader now!

Merriam -Webster

An Encyclopedia Britannica company, Merriam Webster operates an online dictionary and thesaurus, a delight to anyone into who wishes they’d studied semantics or etymology at university.  This website is a resource for all those who need to know the precise origin, old and modern meanings of words, and pronunciation guidelines.

The Plain English Campaign

It’s not too great a strain to say that this may just be my favourite concept in the writing domain: Plain English.  It prompted the style of the strapline we use for our Coaching Service: No Fuss; No Jargon; No Crystals: Only Results.

Strunk and Whyte

If you’re looking for an old, reliable guide to how English should be written, then this is what you have been waiting for.  Strunk and Whyte is a plain English reference guide from the early 1900s, highlighting and explaining those English rules that are so often contravened.

Cherryleaf Technical Authors Blog

This is a highly useful blog, combining video, links and how-tos.  The man himself, Ellis Pratt is on Twitter and is always helpful, even to the point of sourcing local technical writers for me.

The Chicago Manual of Style

“With state-of-the-art recommendations on editorial style and publishing practices in the digital age, The Chicago Manual of Style is the must-have reference for everyone who works with words.”  Sign up for the immensely compact and useful Q&A Alerts.  They’re also on Facebook.

The Grouchy Grammarian

If you just cannot bear to take English seriously, then I’d suggest Thomas Parrish’s The Grouchy Grammarian, as a humourous starting point.  Once you begin to laugh while learning the rules, you’ll be pedantically hooked forever!

If you need a Technical Communicator, contact me to discuss your project.  And, if you are a Technical Communicator working in Ireland or the UK, get in touch, I’d love to meet you online or offline!

Image credit: nirak (main image).  All other images are taken from the resources’ websites.