Are You Lonely Or Just a Loner?
There is a difference, you know.
One my most read and commented blogs is one I wrote earlier this year called I’m OK, You’re An Introvert. The title was a play on Thomas Harris’ famous book I’m OK, You’re OK.
In that blog I tried to banish the popular notion that introversion is a personality defect or a character flaw. I even had the audacity to encourage introverts to use their more reflective nature as an advantage in life.
I was reminded of this issue again recently while reading an excellent article called What’s the difference between being lonely and a loner? “Just under half of us have felt depressed because we have felt alone, says a report. But not everyone who is alone is sad about it, so what is the difference between being lonely and being a loner?”
The article makes the powerful point that you can be surrounded by people – even friends – in your life but still feel alone. Conversely, psychologist Anthony Storr has argued that solitude is necessary for mental health and creativity.
Related to this, a recent survey called The Lonely Society reports that loneliness is more prevalent among the young than those past retirement age. Despite the rise of social media, people still seem to need the actual presence of another person to achieve emotional satisfaction. The breakdown of the traditional family seems too to have played a part.
When it comes to loneliness, genetic factors could play a part; living in a large city almost certainly does. Loneliness even increases your risk of heart disease, at least in men.
So what can a lonely person do? Night-courses. Weekend workshops. Communal sports. Special interest or hobby groups. These are the answers that first came to my mind. (This is where the Internet becomes useful – as a means of obtaining information, not as substitute for socialising.) Then, courage to switch off the TV and take that first step out!
Any more ideas, anyone?
