I would guess that the quest for simplicity of a certain sort is indeed a male obsession. Why? We are better an analysis than synthesis, stripping down to the parts rather than seeing the whole. Also, our brains are directed towards system-building, which is nothing else than seeking a simple way to understand complex phenomena.

At its most common, this tendency shows itself in the cut-the-crap, cut-to-the-chase type of mentality for which we men are famous. At a more sophisticated level, I think we can spot it in various species of reductionism, which is the tendency of males to say that x is ‘nothing but’ or ‘nothing more than’ y e.g. when behaviourists say that thinking is ‘nothing more than’ behaviour they are reducing all thinking to baviour.

As far as respect is concerned, have you heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? It says that in terms of human priorities our need for respect comes after our need for community. For men, I’m not sure this is true. Like you tellingly said, self-respect is probably more important for a man than peer respect. Or at least for a well-adjusted men! We’re loners at heart. Does a “real man” care for ‘mere’ respectability, or what society thinks?

Personally, it fascinates me/freaks me out to think now much of what we guys consider ‘normal’, ‘objective’, and ‘the way things are’ is essentially gender specific. That’s a point the feminists have made for some time but I’m only getting it now.

All stereotypes aside, we are pretty simple creatures, and that makes me say the word “simple” again and again.

I’m not sure if this covers the the whole spectrum but for me, I hate the complicated. Simplicity is bliss to me, and making things simple, even if they start out as something super complicated falls into the “Meaningful Life” as simplifying things, breaking them down and pulling them apart, allows us to pass that knowledge or information on easy and effectively to our kids or friends and family. This makes us feel that we can, in some small way, live on in the work we do.

I would also guess that a major factor for us is that scary word “respect”. I think self respect is obtained by making progress in aims and goals we set, so that’s pretty much up to us, but gaining respect from peers, spouse, family and friends is just as important and arguably more difficult today than it has ever been.

We can excel at work but then are not spending enough time with the family, vice versa, we can be with the family and then we are not making enough money. (small example, I could go on!) These mixed signals make it difficult for men to decide categorically what is “right” and what is “wrong” because we equate the right decision to be both the respectable one and the best one.

I don’t think I’m making myself as clear as I would like, but I’m hoping its expanding on the question a little.