Why Are Men Such Fat, Stupid Wasters? #1

It was my dad that started me thinking about gender issues. The Simpsons was on. Homer did something stupid. Everyone laughed – except dad.

“What wrong, dad? Don’t you find it funny?”

I was waiting for some sentimental, ‘things were funnier in the good old days’ type response. Instead I got this.

“Why are men always portrayed in such a negative way in the popular media? If Marge was shown like that, the feminists would be up in arms. But its OK to knock a man. So much for equality.”

Wow. Fairly profound for an old blue collar dinosaur like you (the son thought, patronisingly).

But is it true? Peter Griffin from Family Guy. Al Bundy from Married With Children. The most obvious candidates. Add to this the “men” of Seinfeld, Home Improvement, King of the Hill, Friends, Drew Carey, Everybody Loves Raymond, All in the Family/Till Death Do Us Part and you’ve got quite a case.

From this, I started reading stuff like The Myth of Male Power by Warren Farrell, and Not Guilty: In Defence of Modern Man by David Thomas. As I become more interested in the science of brain difference, as opposed to its sociology, I read Why Men Don’t Iron: The Real Science of Gender Studies and Brainsex: The Real Difference Between Men and Woman. Interestingly, both these were co-authored by a man and a woman. And some of the best book on the science of gender have been written by women; for instance, I’ve mentioned the work of Susan Pinker here and here. See also the work of Louann Brizendine.

Anyway, where am I going with this? To the training room, that’s where. And what do I find there?

(1) Most of my students who voluntarily attend my personal or professional development courses are women. If you pushed me, I’d say about 80/20. The only courses I’ve run yet that weren’t successful were workshops solely for men. Why? They’d rather lie in on a Saturday, read the weekend rag, watch some sport, drink some beer, and wonder why their lives are wasting away. And then there’s the arrogant know-it-alls who aren’t smart enough to realise they don’t.

(2) When I take similar workshops to the workplace, most men couldn’t give a stuff. It’s a drag, a day out, an excuse to go on the piss (I kid you not). Woman take part. Woman are open to new things, new experience, reflection i.e. learning. Men fold their arms around their big, fat bellies and sneer. Literally.

(3) I’ve tried to design course themes and titles that would be more likely to attract men e.g. on Star Wars, humour, and self-defence, for the nerdy, laddish and macho respectively. Yes, they have raised the male percentile, but still it’s mostly women who attend.

So maybe the negative portrayal of men in the media isn’t some feminist conspiracy. Maybe its description rather than prescription; satire often contains a kernel of truth. And maybe we should treat it like a wake-up call, not a call-to-arms. Whinging isn’t, well, manly.

True, as a meritocrat, I believe reverse discrimination policies and quotas are both unethical and harmful. And, as I’ve blogged before, our current education system is clearly biased against boys. But who is it really that is holding men back?

We have seen the enemy, and he is us!

I think it may be my life’s mission is to get men involved in personal development. Men like my dad. Men like that fat wasters at the course. Men like me.

Right. Now that’s sorted, the next big question is…HOW?

Ideas, please…

Image credit: pusgums.