To NLP or not to NLP

Posted by on Nov 5, 2008 in personal development | 6 comments

Maybe some of you will have heard of NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming.  It’s all the rage in the sort of circles I move in – the realm of coaches, management consultants, trainers and professional communicators.  Some academics and psychologists brand it as gimmicky, without an adequate basis in research, and productive of a cult-like mentality.  To others, its a transformational science that lifts their game to another level at record speed.

My feelings are mixed.  I would describe by own view as ‘open but cautious’.  Open, because it contains a heady mixture of philosophy, psychology, and self-help applications that I personally find attractive.  But I’m still cautious, very cautious.  Here are a few quick reasons why:

  1. There isn’t a single, satisfactory definition of NLP. As a trainer-philosopher, this makes me nervous.  It is possible to take some of the most advanced theories and systems ever dreamed of and reduce them to a succinct definition – whether postmodernism, Marxism or whatever.  This implies that the meaning of the term is clear and distinct.  NLP can’t do this.  It is usually defined in terms that are are either so all-encompassing as to be useless (e.g. “the science of achievement”) or so fragmented as to point in a thousand different directions.
  2. There isn’t much in NLP that is unique to NLP. So you open a book on NLP and ask yourself, ‘What is this really about?’  Well, there’s a bit on ‘mirroring‘…but this is a well-known technique of body language.  Then there’s something on self-motivation… but Emotional Intelligence already covers that.  The same goes for everything NLP has to say about learning styles, metaphors, memory, rapport-building, re-framing and the rest.  Even it’s central technique – modelling – was used by the likes of Maslow (my wife’s hero!) long before NLP came on the scene.  So I ask, What exactly does NLP do that other things don’t?
  3. I don’t apprecaite the use of the word ‘progamming’. The human mind is neither a (sort of organic) computer, nor is it very much like a computer…in everything that matters.  NLP seems little more than a modern verion of the old behaviourist theory with its ‘stimulus/response’ model and its reliance on ‘operant conditioning’.  I find it interesting that Tony Robbins has called his own version of NLP ‘Neuro-Associative Conditioning’.  Such methods grew out of the training of animals in experiments.  They therefore exclude all that is vital to specifically human existence – freedom, conscience, an aesthetic sense, and intuition to name a few.
  4. It doesn’t impress me when the founders of NLP can’t even live it out. The two founders of NLP – Richard Bandler and John Grinder – have been involved in a number of lawsuits about the ownership of their theory.  There were also the messy matters of divorce, bankruptcy and even a murder trial.  The NLP movement has splintered since then.  So much for rapport-building!  If they can’t provide a model of excellence in communication between themselves, I fail to see how they can dare to do so for anyone else.  As Jimmy Swaggart – another one who can’t practice what he preaches – might say: Physician, heal thyself!

Having said all this, people I respect have gained much through NLP to help others.  My mind is not closed.  Maybe I need to stop reading NLP books and go to one of their workshops to experience it directly.

If I can afford it, that is…

So I throw this challenge out there.  If any NLPers are reading - invite me to one of your seminars, make me a true believer, and I’ll blog you a golden write-up for free!  Any takers?

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  • Jasmina

    I experimented with NLP for an intense 3 day session with another day added a week later- and I have to say- I was highly skeptical about it but also was equally desperate, as I had endured years of useless talk therapy as well as perscribed drugs to get over a few issues- none with any success. 3 days later after trying this crazy thing, my issue was cured. Crazy but its been almost 2 1/2 years since i’ve experienced a problem with it and it’s all due to those intense 3 days. I’d do it again in a second.

  • http://www.sensei-winebforehand.co.uk Allen Baird, Partner

    Jasmina, that’s a great personal story. Thanks for telling it here. I’ve heard a lot like it, which is one of the reasons I’m still open to NLP, despite what the academics say. NLP seems to work, traditional psychoanalysis doesn’t seem to, and perhaps isn’t even meant to. In this way, NLP is like its more respected cousin, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). It would be interesting to research the ‘family resemblances’ between the two. The UK government is keen to invest in CBT as a quicker, cheaper, healthier alternative to the usual mixture of drugs and ‘tell me about your childhood’ that you experienced. I’m all for this. And I wish you all the best for your future.

  • Howard Guy

    Hey great post,

    I have been looking up NLP for personal communication use and for research into helping people overcome addictions.

    This was an interesting read about … well what it is all about! It does seem a bit overblown but i guess if it can help some people it should be taken seriously to a degree.

    http://www.kick-addiction.com

  • http://www.sensei-winebforehand.co.uk Allen Baird, Partner

    Thanks Howard. NLP does seem to possess power when it comes to fighting both phobias and addictions. It’s overblown in the sense that it’s not the universal cure-all some seem keen to make it out as. But as part of your tool kit? Absolutely! I’m attending my first NLP seminar this week to see first-hand what all fuss is about. I’ll let you know how it goes. In the mean time, all the best with your quest to free others from their addictions, a worthy cause. Nice site too.

  • jameshogg

    I like to think of NLP as a nice collection of all the greatest psychological discoveries. But even so, the people who teach the skills have to be very good in order to give you the best of it.

    I personally do not rely on NLP techniques to solve everything and there is a good reason for this: only I know what is best for me, not the books nor the lecturers (Michael Neill taught me this vital idea, he’s described below).

    There are two committed people who I’d recommend if you wanna see how you can make the best of this field and improve yourself (or… see that you never needed to become a better person in the first place). I wouldn’t recommend anybody else, simply because I suspect they just aren’t going to be as good as these guys:

    Paul McKenna:

    One of the world’s best hypnotists, but don’t be skeptical over that subject, it is just a tool that helps his bigger systems and isn’t his main focus. Paul concentrates on specific areas such as weight loss, quitting smoking, overall life perspectives, confidence and becoming rich. These systems are some of the best in the world, especially the weight loss system which has a proven 71% success rate, and the money making book will make you never think of money in the same way again.

    The techniques he uses are deliberately short but extremely powerful. They revolve around the basis that all psychology is in the five senses, i.e. the imagination. Willpower is kinda hard when you are imagining the pleasures of an action at full vividness after all…

    He is best for if you want to focus specifically on one area of life. However, if you want a more overall perspective, I recommend this extraordinary guy-

    Michael Neill:

    This is the one of the first things he says in ‘You Can Have What You Want’ :
    ‘Do not override your own inner wisdom by listening to me instead of yourself.’

    Now I don’t know about you, but that kind of attitude just cannot be rivaled by anyone else in this business. This is why he is the best coach in the world.

    He also says :
    ‘Do not turn the ideas in this book into a new set of ‘rules’ for how you’re supposed to be in the world and what you ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ be, do, have, or want.’

    In other words, the basis behind his books is the voices of feelings over the voices in your head. The voices of feelings are also referred to as ‘the still small voice within’ that truly knows what is best for you, and it is smarter than any intuition on Earth.

    He uses NLP, BUT… you don’t see it. He’s set up his exercises so its more reader friendly, and more direct to the situations themselves. But what is mighty impressive is that the advice itself is self-adaptive – in other words, when you get good at his techniques, other techniques seem to jump out as much more useful than they were before.

    What makes Michael stand out is his exceptional understanding that everybody can dream, and it’s just a case of hearing the dream over your other voices, making peace with those ‘other’ voices anyway, and reminding yourself that you are always trying to take care of yourself in some way or another. Always. This is the best person I’ve ever had the honour of learning from, and I don’t often say that about anybody.

    Paul and Michael can work with you together, however, and you’ll get great results. They fill in each other’s gaps and give you what you are looking for. I highly recommend them over anybody else.

    Other than that, NLP is just a marketing spin to be honest… due to Paul and Michael’s success, companies just merely have to tag ‘NLP’ to their criteria and they’ve got selling values. I personally recommend that you just avoid ‘courses’ and such, and just go for Paul and Michael. I really don’t think you are going to need anything else.

    NLP is, in my opinion, best used by professionals, not by amateurs who could potentially ruin one’s faith in the field.

  • http://www.sensei-winebforehand.co.uk Allen Baird, Partner

    Hello James. Thanks for your thought-out and informative reply. I have of course heard of Paul McKenna, and read at least one of his books (Instant Confidence). I hadn’t heard of Michael Niell at all. Judging by his website, his range of products seems quite similar to McKenna’s.

    One of McNeill’s seminars is called ‘The Secrets of Effortless Success’. I don’t know whether to shout with agreement or sigh with skepticism when I hear titles like that. Is it possible or even desirable to ‘Change Your Life in Three Days’? Changes in perspective can occur in an instant. But even then, we have to go on and do something about it!

    In my darkest moments, I suspect NLP of being like a pyramid selling scheme. Those at the top invented it, teach it to those below at a price, and so on. The main purpose of learning NLP is not to help others, but to teacher others its tricks and earn money from it this way. But then, there are many sincere ‘healer’ types out there who only want to do good and pay the mortgage. NLP promises them so much.

    Right now, I’m preparing a workshop in the psychology of deception detection. I will mention NLP with its ‘eye cues’ theory. However, I will focus more on well-respected and researched models like the ‘Interpersonal Deception Theory’ and the ‘Facial Action Coding System’.

    Like I said in the blog, I suspect that most of what NLP teaches can be found elsewhere, only better. It’s main achievement lies perhaps in bringing psychological ideas and techniques to a popular audience. This is a benefit. But is the cost of dilution a price too high?

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